Lately I have been trying to seperate myself fromm all of this immature and petty drama that has been going on all around me. Which unfortunately means that I have to seperate myself from some old friends. Unfortunately this drama keeps finding me, and sucking me in. I am keeping my head up, not believing a word anyone is saying about others, and letting everyone else believe whatever they want to, I am doing just about anything to stay as far away as possible. I am slowly but surely learning who my real friends are, it's sad but true. I went from having around 20 or so people that I was extremely close to and thought I could trust, to having 2 or 3 people that I can depend on and rely on. It's new for me, I'm the type of person that likes to be surrounded by thse that I like. But I think that it's better to have a few close people that you can talk to and confide in and have everyone else as aquaintences.
I have also been noticing how much of an impact that I have on people's lives. Recently people have been dictating their lives around me and the things I do. This goes in both a positive way and a negative way. Some people are spending all of their time with me and doing anything that they can to spend time with me, and others are switching their class schedules and doing just about anything to get as far away from me as possible.
There is just so much going on, it's almost unbelievable. I guess these next 3 months of the quarter will be....interesting! (to say the least)
2 comments:
Serina, serina, serina. I fucking love you! for real dude. I am seeing such the same point of view on things. Your so right now the few close friends and all the rest acquainances or however you spell it lol. I have learned when you allow too many ppl in your life and tell them things about you personally or just anything in general..you end up getting hurt or stabbed in the back by ppl you would never think do this! and it sucks to keep yourself distant from ppl and keep yourself from opening up but its better for you. You have to watch out for yourself because in the end it will be you getting fucked over. But yes we shall see what this quarter will bring us! who knows with the life we live in and the ppl we hangout with and know lol. Its up in the air I guess! lol :)
btw. Alot of people in highschool including myself sometimes are just naturally immature. We are surrounded by this certain life everyday sometimes its impossible to not talk shit, or not act immature but alot of the times its just the people who are naturally like that and it will take the a bit more time growing up and sadly but true some ppl never change.
I admire you for using your blog for a positive vent. I am thrilled for you that you will be done with school so soon. Congratulations! As far as people repelled and also attracted by your gravitational pull, I think you are managing it as best you can-- rising above the volume of gossip and trying to streamline your circle of trust. Though I know I'll sound like an old fogey when I say this, I do believe that those timeless and most essential friendships will endure and those that had a value but a shelf life will also pass from us-- and you will still be intact, still just as magnetic to new people and hopefully, more respected and cared for as a result.
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