D! (my guy rant)..... (read if you want)

Teenage years have to be the hardest, so many emotions, pressures, friends that come and go and relationships that come and go as well. I will admit that I don't have the best of luck with guys. But there is one guy that I would give my left arm for (I take a lot of pride in my left arm, I'm left handed.) We met at the beginning of last year and had a instant connection to each other, I guess you could say. We dated for a little while, but then realized that it wasn't working out for the best, that we would be better off as friends. By that time though it was summer, and we had mutual friends that we both spent the majority of our time with, so we saw each other pretty often. Also by that time there was some unexpected news that also kept us together and close. Everyone always told and still tells me that he is bad news and that I should stay away, deep down I think that I know it, but I just can't seem to do it. He's my first love and we have had a lot that we've been through. We have never gotten back together, and I often wish that we were, I know that he is different then what everyone thinks about him, people are to quick to judge. He isn't the ideal guy that most people hope for, but he is to me at least. Sure he has things wrong with him... quite a few things at that, but it makes him who he is, and he is different then that. He is really the only guy I have ever felt this way about, I have been in relationships before and after I was with him and it's just not the same. I'm not close minded though, well maybe a little bit. He is my best guy friend, and he always will be. Im happy to have him in my life, even as just a friend. I respect him, and trust him, even when nobody else does. I hope he realizes that..... doubt it. 

Well thats my guy rant for now..... it's not related to anything, I know. 

Thanksgiving!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. This year my family is having Thanksgiving at our house, this should be interesting. 

Lately I have been so overwhelmed with everything, family issues, school issues, health issues, I haven't even stopped to think about what I am thankful for. (I will now though)

I am thankful for my friends, the few that I am super close to have helped me get through a lot lately. I honestly don't know where I would be with out them. 

I am thankful for my mom, even though we don't always see eye to eye and these past few months have been some of the hardest, I am so happy that we got through it all and that we are at least living together and spending more time together now and "bonding" and getting closed I guess you could say. 

I am very thankful for school, school in general, but especially Creative Arts, this school has made school actually fun. I never thought I would actually want to go to school, but I actually do now, and I enjoy the homework. I never used to go to school at Highland or Central. I'm very happy that I ended up at CAHS. I have been slipping a little bit lately, but I am going to try so so so hard to make that up.

I guess those are pretty general, but they are big parts of my life and make me who I am. 

Quite The Quarter....So Far....

I have decided to take the last 5 minutes of class to write just an off the top of my head extra blog. So far this quarted has been so amazingly stressful, it has been very overwhelming. I'm graduating after this quarter, I may need one credit next quarter, but I don't think so. But it's not just that, that's stressing me out. We are only in the second week of the quarter and I have projects due in basically every class. AHH! In my science fiction class, I was so excited to start on this project that we were assigned, we were to create our own world. I started in a group of 3, the two other members couldnt see eye to eye and our group has split up and gone their seperate ways several times already, I'm torn as to what to do, and our project is due at the begining of class tomorrow! 

Lately I have been trying to seperate myself fromm all of this immature and petty drama that has been going on all around me. Which unfortunately means that I have to seperate myself from some old friends. Unfortunately this drama keeps finding me, and sucking me in. I am keeping my head up, not believing a word anyone is saying about others, and letting everyone else believe whatever they want to, I am doing just about anything to stay as far away as possible. I am slowly but surely learning who my real friends are, it's sad but true. I went from having around 20 or so people that I was extremely close to and thought I could trust, to having 2 or 3 people that I can depend on and rely on. It's new for me, I'm the type of person that likes  to be surrounded by thse that I like. But I think that it's better to have a few close people that you can talk to and confide in and have everyone else as aquaintences. 

I have also been noticing how much of an impact that I have on people's lives. Recently people have been dictating their lives around me and the things I do. This goes in both a positive way and a negative way. Some people are spending all of their time with me and doing anything that they can to spend time with me, and others are switching their class schedules and doing just about anything to get as far away from me as possible. 

There is just so much going on, it's almost unbelievable. I guess these next 3 months of the quarter will be....interesting! (to say the least) 

....testing....(ugh)

So luckily I'm a senior, graduating after this quarter, if i do well enough. But i have had to take plenty of tests to get to this point. I hate testing, but what student doesn't? There is really no way to really prepare yourself for these standardized tests, except for brushing up on a few old topics like math, writing, or reading. If your going to try and study, it's pretty much a hit and miss kind of situation. You can never be quite sure what will be on the test itself. "They" always say that the day before testing that you should get a good nights sleep and eat breakfast, that's all the suggested preparing that "they" will tell you. I dislike taking these tests but then again it's a good way to brush up on some subjects, and refresh your memory. I'm always surprised at some of the things I know, that I didn't' know that I knew, like some math or science. Sometimes it's relaxing to get away from some stressful classes, but that's just me.

Body Language! (Part One)

(I finished reading at 9:17, then finished researching at 9:40)

I have decided to look into body language, the things that people do with their bodies that mean different things and emotions. We were leaning about this in Randy's portrait class. I think that it's so interesting that we do some of these things and give off a very strong emotion to others and sometimes don't even notice it. There is aggressive body language, submissive
body language, romantic body language, bored body language, defensive body language, closed body language, open body language, relaxed body language, evaluating body language, and many more. Your body language is expressed through your head, torso, arms, and legs. People naturally know how to read you, it's kind of an instinct that we are all born with. This website shows many different ways that people show how they feel towards a person and things that we do and sometimes not even know it. For example closed body language, people will have their arms crossed, heir head and eyes down, legs crossed. The site also goes into detail about why people use closed body language, and why they do those specific movements (head down, legs crossed.) I really learned a lot from this site, it's kind of fun to see what gestures each type of body language has and to then realize that I really do some of the sometimes without even noticing.

(began my research at:)
http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/body_language.htm

Let It Be

One quote/lyric that I love is "let it be" from the Beatles. I think that these three simple words hold so much meaning and significance it's insane. It can also be taken so many different ways. To me it is saying leave your problems behind you, move on, don't let the pointless and insignificant problems in your life get you down.
The whole song overall is very powerful, and has a very strong message behind it. I love the Beatles because their lyrics can be taken so many different ways and are very easy to relate to.
Another band that has very powerfull lyrics is Queen, one song that I really like the lyrics in of theirs is "waiting for the hammer to fall", the first time I heard this song i didnt think anything of it accept for that it was an amazing song. Then I learned that it was all about Freddy Mercury talking about the HIV that he had and the song had a whole new meaning to it.

Project!

So i was looking for blogs, I started by going to some of the blog sites that i had already known about like the New York Post, and then I fell back onto the infamous Perez Hilton. Its always interesting to hear about other people's lives, it makes mine seem so calm and simple. This blog has a little bit of dirt on almost every celebrity out there, weather its true or not who's to know (I think that's what makes it so interesting, not knowing, the wonder behind it.) If celebrities lived just average, everyday lives they wouldn't get talked about. Everybody has at least a tiny bit of a soft spot for celebrity gossip. Perez Hilton is the Internet users fix for that. He finds the dirt and knows just how to present it so that it keeps you reading, and often makes you step back and second guess it. No matter how much we don't believe a word of this juicy celebrity gossip we keep on reading, we tell our friends, its the hot topic of conversation. As much as we hate to admit it most of America is addicted. I like the way that Perez Hilton writes, it's very personable and its easy to relate to. He has a crude, yet hilarious sense of humor, he's entertaining. I really like his blogs, they are very entertaining, very funny and they keep people updated.

winter

Winter is here! This morning i woke up, looked out of my window and saw snow, everywhere. I love winter. I love the snow. I love the cold. It's so refreshing to me, everything looks so nice. The trees are beautiful. But i will admit that sometimes the cold gets to me. You would think that I would be used to it, I have lived in Minnesota almost all of my life. I have been through this before, but each Minnesota winter is a little bit different. Although I think that's why I love Minnesota, even though a few times I have found myself wishing I was someplace warmer. Living here really makes me appreciate each season more, variety is good. If I lived in a place like California where they only have one season that they experience (with the occasional rain shower and earthquake) they don't know much about snow, or cold. Living here my year consists of four very defined seasons. I think that I take living here for granted. It makes me wonder, what else do i take for granted?.....

Opener

My main passion is art. My main art form is photography, different types: digital, 35mm, black and white. Photography is a way for me to show how i view things, a way for me to show things from my perspective. I also liike graphic arts, working with photoshop, because it lets me take the picture that i want and also to put even more of my own spin on it. I also enjoy sharing it with others. I like getting other's feed back on my work.

I love music. I say that i like listening to everything, but the

truth is i haven't even heard every type of music. Music is the one thing that keeps me grounded, and it's also the one thing that i can rely on to keep my mood up. If i were to get stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing it would be my ipod (and the charger.) I think that music is so interesting, how everyone interprets a song or lyrics a different way. There are also so many types: heavy metal, rap, rock, classical, oldies, jazz, r&b, hip hop, country, techno. Im not picky about what type of music im listening to, I base my music on my mood.